


Blood and words (can't break my soul)

by kissyledss



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Motorcycles, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Bobby Nash, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissyledss/pseuds/kissyledss
Summary: Buck can't breathe because Daniel is alive and Buck remembers every single thing that went wrong in his life and suddenly...he understands it all.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Daniel Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Frank Castle, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Steve McGarrett, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Danny "Danno" Williams, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 144





	Blood and words (can't break my soul)

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language and there isn't a schedule for the updates. Enjoy!

_He's alive._ That's the first thing that his mother says after years of silence. _Daniel needs you, please._

And Buck can't breathe for the next couple of hours and not even when he's in a bar at 3 am wishing he was in another place, preferably at Eddie's but _he can't_ , not right now when he feels like he's gonna explode out of his body at the minimum contact and especially not when he feels _sick_ only thinking about being vulnerable with another human being right now. 

And he _hates it_. It's been _years_ and he's still a fucking kid who's scared of the world.

_How fucking nice._

However, Buck can't just ignore this because is his brother, after all, it's not his fault that his parents abandoned him like a piece of garbage at the gates of a fire station. _Shit,_ Buck should be so grateful because he had an amazing life and an unbelievable good father and a family who loves him but he can _still_ feel the rejection and it stings more than ever. 

"What's wrong, hot stuff?" The bartender says and Buck wants to get out and go to the races but _he promised_ someone important that he would never do it again and even if that was a long time ago and Frank isn't here anymore, Buck keeps his promises.

_God_ , he's probably dead right now in the middle of the ocean.

Buck _hates_ the ocean...and he _loves_ it.

And maybe that thought alone is his life, in a nutshell, because Buck's decisions had always been in between. He always knew that there wasn't a _right_ choice, there wasn't just black and white...or boys and girls or whatever, that's just how Buck had lived through the past few years and he's still alive so that's something, right? 

So it should be easy to just say _yes mom, I'm on my way_ or _sorry, wrong number_ but his father, Bobby, raised him to be a good man even when the world was so cruel to him so Buck doesn't know why it's so difficult to make the right choice and why does it feel like his decision is going to change his life _forever._


End file.
